The GOOD Tissues

I don’t think physicians ever say, to an ailing patient, “You know, for your health, you should move to Central Texas.” We have acres of Cedar Juniper trees here, and lots of folks have allergy problems. I didn’t, when I was growing up here, but it seems like I do now.

Several years ago, I noticed that I would begin to be sick, feeling a little bad, headachy, with a scratchy throat. But it wouldn’t go anywhere. It didn’t turn into a cold, with a stopped up nose. It wouldn’t become the flu, with fever and body aches. It just sat there, making me miserable, with snot pouring out of my nose, and some coughing, as all that mucous ran down the back of my throat (at least the part that wasn’t running out of my nose).

It rolled in again last week, which was not a good week. (But whenever is it a convenient week to be ill?)

I went to a funeral on Thursday, and took cough drops along with me, and some tissues in my purse. I found myself sitting with a friend, at the very end of a pew at the funeral home. The end of a pew, where there are always, close-to-hand, tissues! I left the place with a purse stuffed with used, wadded-up tissues that I kept pulling from their box to try to stem the onslaught of allergy-induced snot. And the red, raw nostrils and upper lip that come from the constant wiping up of all that moisture dripping down.

Back at home, I went straight to the linen closet for the good Kleenex. I discovered the good Kleenex a few years ago. I was sick, and they were a new product, I think. They were much advertised and promoted at stores, and I had a coupon. They were amazing. They’re called “Cool Touch” Kleenex, and they are really and truly cool to the touch. They are as soft as cotton and do not scratch my nostrils and upper lip, like regular tissues do, when I’m wiping my nose every minute or so. A few weeks later, Jeremy and Sarah were in town and Sarah got sick. We took a list to the store, for soups and medications she requested. I said, “And I will bring you the good Kleenex!”

After that, whenever I found a coupon for them, I bought them. I stocked up. I was ready!

Last Friday, I took the box with me when I met a friend for lunch. “These are great,” I said, as I pulled one from the box to try to gently clean off my nose before things got embarrassing for me and my lunch companion. She seemed skeptical. “No. Here,” I said, handing her one. “It’s cool,” she said. “Yes, I know!”

Later, she touched it again. “It’s still cool,” she said. “How do they do that?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just know that these are what you want if you’re going to be blowing your nose ten or fifteen times an hour.”

On Monday, I was at another funeral. (Yes, I really was.) I had refrained from bringing the entire box with me, but I had put several in my purse. After the service, I was chatting with a cousin. She sniffled a bit and said, “Hang on, I need to get a tissue.”

“Oh,” I said. “Please let me.” As I reached into my purse for one of the good Kleenex, I saw a text message pop up from my Friday lunch friend. “The tissue is still cool,” it said.

Is that a great tissue or what!?!