And Don’t Say You Don’t Like Goldfish Macaroni & Cheese, Either

Shopping at Wal-Mart a couple of weeks ago, I saw Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Macaroni & Cheese. Really.

Yes. It’s true!

I immediately thought about my preschoolers in Sunday School. They really like plain ol’ goldfish crackers (and also pretzel goldfish, colored goldfish, space goldfish, graham cracker goldfish, and puffy goldfish). Oh, how great that would be for snack on the Sunday that new kids were promoting to our room. I took my big sauce pan to cook the pasta, along with the butter and milk that are necessary to produce some sort of sauce from the enclosed dry cheese sauce packet.

At church, I made a list of all the tasks for the pasta making: 3 kids to pour the pasta into the boiling water, 3 to add the butter (after I cooked and drained the cute little macaroni fish shapes), 1 to add milk, and 3 more to add the packets of cheese sauce stuff. I signed up kids, and we did indeed make our own snack of delightful goldfish macaroni and cheese. They ate almost all of it. There was quite a bit of clean up, though, and I was pretty late to worship service, which isn’t all that unusual.

This is where I like to sit on Sunday mornings.

When I go to worship service on Sunday mornings, I sit in the balcony, with a handful of other churchgoers. I use my last bit of energy to get up the stairs. My favorite place to sit up there is on a short little pew all by itself in front of what was once the sound booth. I’m usually alone in that space. I want to be alone in that space. I don’t want to talk with people and shake hands. I’ve already talked to people. For the previous hour and a half I’ve had conversations such as: “Your voice is loud.” “Your loud voice hurts my ears.” “ I need you to use a soft voice, please.”

And: “Do you need help with that button/snap?” “Remember to flush.” “I didn’t hear the sound of the potty flushing. Please go back and flush.” “I didn’t hear the sound of the water running. Please go back and wash your hands. Please.” “Do you need help with that button/snap?”

And: “It’s dangerous to throw things off the the loft. We ask kids to not throw things off the loft. If you throw things off the loft, you have to come down from the loft.” “Oh dear, now you have to come down from the loft.”

And: “There’s a story in the Bible about people who helped. Thank you for helping put away the blocks.” “I see friends at church working together. There’s a verse in the Bible about that.”
By the end of Sunday School, I’m worn out with talking.

Another nice thing about my pew upstairs is that I don’t feel so obvious when I’m too tired to stand up and sing. I can sit down and sing and not feel as self-conscious as I would if I was the lone sitter in the middle of a bunch of standers in the pews downstairs. And some Sundays, instead of even singing, I just sit and listen.

This is my view on Sunday mornings. I like it.
photo by Tim Pennington-Russell

Just listening is wonderful in worship service. Some days, depending on how many of our instruments are involved, I can feel the vibrations of the music, rippling through my little upstairs pew. I can watch more and feel more and enjoy the wonderful music in a different way. Sure, I could do that downstairs, in the middle of a row of people, but I think I might appear snobbish, and well, uncooperative.

Sunday’s worship service topic was “worship service.” At one point, our Children’s Minister gathered the children around her and asked the kids what they liked about worship service. They said, “children’s sermon, seeing friends, singing,” Things like that. The she took a microphone down the aisles and asked adults the same question. Several people took turns giving answers. I thought about what my answer would have been, had she come upstairs and asked the balcony folks. What was my favorite thing about worship service? I’d have said, “Well, my morning was frenzied. First thing, before kids came, there was a little lizard in the room. We caught him and kept him for the kids to see. Then kids came and there were busy little bodies everywhere! We made macaroni & cheese for our snack. Also, kids worked puzzles and played with play dough and drew pictures and dug in the sand and made music (which is rarely a quiet thing). Then we had group time, very busy. Then we went outside to let the lizard go. Then everyone ate the macaroni & cheese. Then, I washed dishes before I came up to the balcony. Here’s what I love about worship service. I get to sit down and rest and be quiet.”

Sometimes, the preacher asks us to make small groups and pray together or talk together about something, during worship service. The last time he did that, three people who were sitting at the front of the balcony got up and walked up the three steps to where I was and made a group with me. I must have looked really weary. They were gracious, and I was grateful.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”   

Matthew18:20 (NRSV)

I am thankful for a place where I can worship the way I need to. I’m sure others look at me and wonder why I’m so lazy. Meanwhile, I look at them, amazed, and think, “How do you have the energy to stand up and sing five verses of one song and then four verses of another, and not fall over with fatigue?” Oh, there’s room for all of us.