Colon–the sign (:) used to mark a major division in a sentence, to indicate that what follows is an elaboration, summation, implication, etc., of what precedes; or to separate groups of numbers referring to different things, as hours from minutes in 5:30; or the members of a ratio or proportion, as in 1 : 2 = 3 : 6. For example, “Both a comma and a colon were used and have been retained in this e-book.” From The Web of the Golden Spider, by Frederick Orin Bartlet.

Colon–the part of the large intestine extending from the cecum to the rectum. For example, ” The bacteria in your colon thrive on nondigestible fiber, also known as prebiotics.” The Daily Burn (May 16, 2014), “How to Choose the Right Probiotic for You,”

Colon–a seaport in Panama at the Atlantic end of the Panama Canal. For example, “I found that the program for the day included a trip to Colon on the Isthmus railroad.” From The Pirate of Panama by William MacLeod Ra.

Colon–a colonial farmer or plantation owner, especially in Algeria. Apparently, people do not regularly write about this particular use of the word colon.

On Tuesday, I wish I could stay at home and write an essay, using lots of different kinds of punctuation, like commas, and periods, and colons, and exclamation marks!!

On Tuesday, it might be fun to visit the Panama Canal, and take a trip on the Isthmus railroad to visit Colon.

On Tuesday, if I owned a plantation in Algeria, I might choose to phone the Colon, and ask him or her how things are going, out there on the plantation.

However, on Tuesday, I’ll be on the “oscopy” part of my colon. I was supposed to do that a year and a half ago.

It had been ten years since my last one, and I was all scheduled up, that October, for the next one (because physicians like folks to get that done  every ten years). I’d made my pre-procedure appointment and got all the information, but I also brought up the jury summons that I also had, for that same week. There’s a giant, punitive fee if you don’t show up for your procedure. I said that I’d let them know as soon as I knew, but it might be at the last minute. And, sure enough, I had to show up in Federal Court on Tuesday, and my appointment was for Wednesday. I didn’t know if I would have to serve, or how long I would have to serve. I called on Monday and said I might indeed end up on a jury on Wednesday, so I needed to cancel. I called the next week to re-schedule, and they said they were all full up for November, and I should call in November to make a new appointment in December. I said, “Fine,” but then I thought, “Hmmm. December. There’s a lot going on, so I’ll call in December and make a January appointment.” And then, well, January was pretty busy, and then, well, February wasn’t too good, either. And, then I just kept putting it off. So, now here I am, almost a year and a half later, needing to get it done.

However, ten years from now, I don’t plan to do it again. This is my colonoscopy swan song. I hope.

And, of course, the procedure itself is quite easy. I’ll be sound asleep. It’s the “getting ready” part that’s so miserable. They like a colon to be completely empty. And that process is, well, miserable, and keeps the proceduree up for most of the night.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to Wednesday.

I’m working on tranquility for the next few days. And on Monday, I’ll work hard to not be a little bit envious of the rest of you, who are eating and drinking foods that you like.